Over these last seven months an idea has come to mind, something that I never thought would happen. I kept getting this feeling about the school, but as the process grew stronger, it started giving me thoughts I never thought I would have. In the beginning it was just like whispers, I became a little restless. Then the whispers became stronger and turned into pictures. Then I thought to myself: This should not be happening. This is not what I decided.
Suddenly Ascala appeared and he said to me: Why do you think I have inspired and encouraged you to bring the school up to date, inside and in the garden? All of a sudden it was as if you were driven.
And yes, I was. I said to Graham, who have done a lot of the work:
– I do not know why, but we are not just doing this to improve the school, there is a reason which I do not understand at the moment. Suddenly all these projects that we set out to finish were finished. We had met target.
I hear Ascala speaking to me:
I was the one that motivated you. I could only give you bit by bit what my purpose was. That is a necessary part of any process involving change. Then you started having this thought: Do I want to keep the school? As your mind began to open, you began to ask yourself the question: Can I continue to run the school that demand so much of me? That is why I kept on making this point: You are ready to work more with the research, but you cannot do everything! I watched you struggle to make a decision; it is very hard for you Terry not to honour a commitment. Do you remember the time when we did not leave you alone when you meditated? We were just trying to steer you towards the next phase of your life.
Before Christmas you were tired and you and Astrid had decided to go to Tenerife. That holiday gave you another realisation. It was a pleasure to watch you both have whole days to yourself, not having to plan anything if you did not want to. That had a very big impact on you, it made you feel a need and you started thinking: I want more time for my private life. Then the unexpected happened and it was another huge realisation for you. Shortly after you returned from Tenerife and the new year had begun, that decision that had been so difficult to make reached fruition. You just knew and when that moment comes that is what it is like – you just know, but you do not know why.
When you have talked to us Terry and said: I do not know what is going to happen, but I must dare to cross this no-man’s-land of uncertainty. Once you do it will prove to be a great mind opener for you. We are there with you, as you have been for us. It is like the song says: Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart, and you will never be alone.
When you go through the next phase of our live and once you have completed it, that will be the legacy and the message that you leave behind when it is time to return to us.
You will never be alone, Terry, but you are a pioneer and that is the way you have been all your life. You have many times met the challenge of walking forward, leaving the old behind. When you have talked to us you have made no demands on how this time of transition should be. You ventured into it without any expectations. The process will continue. Just let it be, one day at a time.
Many have offered their love and appreciation, because you have given them hope they wish to return the same to you. One thing about you, you have your moments of fear, doubt and uncertainty and that is very necessary. Without those feelings, if you were completely sure and we gave you a map to follow what would that give you? Nothing. The phase you are going through now is going to give you faith for the future and you will know what to expect. So, do not be afraid, we know your needs. You will know when you have come to the right place, without any doubt.
Keep going forward, we will be observing your journey very closely. Even you are going to be surprised of the outcome now that you have passed this milestone.
Before Ascala disappears, to finish off he says: In one way or another people will be hearing from me, do not ask how, you will know when the time comes.
Ascala helped me make the decision, because I hung on to the idea that the school would be my legacy after my passing, such is my loyalty. But I now realise that I do not have to have a building to complete that legacy, because once I made the announcement the answer came very clearly, from the feedback I received from so many people, people that have come to me for help, been on courses, private readings, demonstrations etcetera. The feedback they – You – gave with love and respect gave me even more strength to once again go into the unknown.