My road to medium development began as I have said many times when I was 22 years old. Each week I would go and sit in the medium development circle at the spiritualist church. The leader of the group was an old man called Frank. A quiet unassuming man, but in a very relaxed manner he encouraged us to work with the spirit contact and trust what we were given by the contact. We met once a week. How I looked forward to that meeting, because with each week, with each picture or feeling spirit gave me the language that they used I began to understand more and more. It inspired me to continue especially when the recipients of the messages that I gave understood. The president of the spiritualist church was Blanche Tilling. Like a wise old owl she kept a close eye on me as I developed and listened eagerly to the reports given by Frank the circle leader.
Every Sunday evening at the spiritualist church there would be something like a church service where the guest medium would start the evening off by giving a prayer and then reading from a book. This would be followed by an address given on the spiritualist philosophy. Then followed by clairvoyance. Between each part of the evening there would be a religious hymn. I would attend these evenings as often as I could. A part from actually enjoying the actual service I found it fascinating to see how other mediums worked. On one particular evening the medium failed to turn up and the president of the church invited me to come up and give the clairvoyant part of the evening. I accepted the challenge and as I stood up on that platform with an audience of around 20-30 people it was interesting to note the reaction of the older members of that congregation as they observed me and the clothes that I was wearing; shoulder length hair, jeans and a t-shirt. That was not the attire they expected. The norm was suite and tie. I could almost hear them say: he is so young, what can he do?
I opened up to spirit and I listened to the whispers and the pictures they gave me and with strong feelings they directed me to those that were meant to receive the messages. How did I know where to go? I either had a very strong feeling that I was drawn to a particular person or I could see the spirit person or the silhouette of the spirit person standing behind the person that the message was intended for. The evening passed of quite well and on the whole people seemed to be quite satisfied with what they had received from the spirit contacts.
I continued returning to my development group and as the whispers from spirit intensified I as a channel began to improve. It was not long before the word spread and very soon other spiritualist churches began to invite me as a guest medium where I was invited to give readings and clairvoyant demonstrations. All this happened within the space of one year.
In those days the medium gave their services for free, but where given a small sum for travelling expenses. My payment in those days was the joy of learning, the joy of understanding. The joy of being a channel for spirit and the positive effect it had on the recipient at times. For the first 18 months everything went quite well and my work as a fledgling medium was well received. However after a while I began to feel the pressure that was brought to bear by people expecting or demanding more than I was able to give from the spirit contact. I began to realise the enormity of the task in hand and I realised that it was not enough to pick up the information but also how I communicated it and from an emotional point of view at that early age I did not feel that I was emotionally developed enough to handle the pressure and the demands, because mediums do have a profound effect on some peoples lives and I had to be sure that the information given from spirit was not contaminated by my own thoughts. I was in a quandary. What should I do?
I was restless. I still enjoyed my medium development group, but I was hungry for other things. I needed confirmation that the meaning was that I was meant to work as a medium in this lifetime. I wanted proof, and I wanted spirit to answer the challenge that I gave. I had always been interested in psychology and the power of the mind too and I still had to work for a living and at that time I was working in construction, but was pursuing the possibility of getting a job as a residential social worker. It was whilst encountering this particular crossroad I issued the challenge to spirit. My words were: “now I challenge you to prove to me that my life’s purpose is to work with mental mediumship. I will take a step back from you. I will not meditate. I will not go to mediums. Therefore you must find a way of contacting me”. There was silence, I received no reply.
Shortly after that my work as a residential social worker began and for a few years I worked as a social worker with different aspects of residential social care, mostly with young people that had served a prison sentence or had been given a more lenient sentence of probation. During this period I realised that I needed to develop emotionally because the people that I was working with very quickly showed me areas where I lacked communication skills. They proved to be very adept at manipulation and were skilled at pushing buttons within me. Apart from being a very powerful learning curve for me those years of working with those young people certainly touched my heartstrings in a very emotional way and very quickly it showed me what my weaknesses and strengths were as a person. I was constantly being challenged to move on from old mind-sets. Those years certainly made me stronger in terms of learning to handle pressure or demands made by others as well as expectations I made upon myself.
Coinciding with that time spirit continued to whisper to me. I would wake up in the night to find that something had turned on the taps on full blast in my bathroom. I would find that things could move from one place to another. Another day I was waiting by a bus stop in the centre of Liverpool and at this particular bus stop five different buses taking five different routes would stop. As I waited for my bus I was lost in my own thoughts when the woman standing in front of me, a complete stranger, turns to me and says: “Here is your bus, do not miss it.” As I bordered the bus and took my seat, it suddenly occurred to me: How did that woman know which bus I had to take? And as these little incidents continued I began to realise that spirit was making their presence felt.
Another day I was with my girlfriend in our very small apartment and at that particular time there was a problem with our plumbing in our apartment so the owner of the house said we could use the bathroom in a vacant apartment in the same house until our plumbing was repaired. As I soaked in the bathtub I had such a powerful feeling that I was being watched. When I returned to my apartment I did not mention this to my girlfriend. My girlfriend then took her turn in the bathroom and on returning to the apartment she said, “As I bade I felt a very strong presence, it was as if I was being watched”. I then informed her that I had had a similar experience.
My apartment was only a very small studio apartment and the house was very old, so old infact that there were wooden shutters on the inside of the apartment windows. In that house there were also four other small apartments. Later that evening as we lay in bed suddenly the shutters on the windows began to vibrate and shake. There was knocking coming from every direction in the room, both my girlfriend and I were startled. I thought, my God what is going on! I walked out in to the stairway there was not a sound. I looked out into the street. There was no wind. The evening was very still. As I got back into bed the sound and the disturbance continued. The presence grew in intensity and whatever the presence was, it was desperate. One could even say, in panic. I asked it what it wanted, but the only feelings I received were the once I already mentioned. Then suddenly the entity made contact with me and tried to get inside of me. It was almost as if it wanted to take me over. I held my ground and said, you are not going to do that. That in itself took a lot of energy. After that the phenomenon, whatever it was subsided.
Every time I visited London I always contacted one of my best friends. In those days I could not afford a telephone so every time I was in London I would just call him and say: Let us go and have a bier. This incident occurred in November of 1975. When I returned to London to spend Christmas there, I called my friend. His brother answered and I was informed that my friend Cyril had passed in November in a brain haemorrhage whilst at work. When I checked he had passed on the day when I experienced that physical phenomenon. Then I understood that my friend had been trying to contact me, but as he was in such an emotional state he was only able to communicate with me the emotional experience he had as he passed. He was 30 years old.
Some time before that he had asked me if I could arrange a personal consultation for him with a medium, so an arrangement was made. As I sat patiently in the waiting room waiting for him to come out from the private sitting. He appeared, irritated and anxious. I asked him, what is wrong. He said, the medium told me that all my business plans for the future are not meant to be. My friend had recently informed me that he was planning to start his own business. 18 months later he passed and as he passed he was trying to visit an old friend, me and let me know that he was gone. The prophecy of the spirit world came true. Once again spirit hade made their presence felt. I was part of the experience when my friend tried to communicate his feelings of panic. He conveyed his presence by the use of physical phenomena which both my girlfriend and I was able to witness.
A month later I was diagnosed with cancer. Because of my sickness I was not able to work for two or three years and through that period spirit continued to whisper to me and to make their presence felt. At the end of the sickness I started to go to clairvoyant demonstrations again. The mediums would invariably come to me and the medium would always give me these words: spirit want to know when you are going to start to work for them again? My reply would be: You must prove to me a little bit more. At this conjuncture I had returned to work. Working in construction again. I had also returned to London.
One evening my girlfriend said to me: I want to go out and buy some new clothes and I would like you to accompany me for your advice and support regarding my possible purchases. My heart sunk, one of the most boring things I knew of was to go on a shopping expedition, buying clothes. The following Saturday the shopping expedition began. For many hours I did my best informing my partner what suited her and did not suit her, and in spite of what comments I made she would make her own decision. My brain was beginning to feel numb. I was sitting in yet another dress shop as my partner tried row after row of different clothes. I had almost given up when the door of the shop opened and in walked this woman who I recognised as being the president of a spiritual church. “Hello Terry, I have not seen you for a number of years! You are just the person I needed to meet! The person that was meant to be our guest medium tomorrow has had to cancel. Would you stand in for that medium tomorrow evening?” I found myself saying yes, I will do it. However I was quick to realise that spirit had heard me and they had come to find me. What would the odds be of that woman walking into the dress shop when London at that time had a population of eight million people? Was it coincidence or synchronicity? I remember smiling, having a little private joke with myself because in that woman entering the shop she rescued me from the shopping expedition I really never wanted to be part of. For that I will be eternally grateful. Spirit had come to find me and for me any doubt that was left disappeared.
From that point on I started to work as a medium again. I continued to go to courses and to learn. I continued to give my services for free because my payment in those days was the joy of learning and my job in construction supplied me with all my economical requirements.
During the years when I had tried to isolate myself from spirit. They continued to whisper and to guide me. I did not need to meditate or go to a spiritual centre for them to make contact. The years as a residential social worker certainly played a big part in teaching me to be more responsible as a human being. May I repeat once again, reminding me of my weaknesses and strengths and during the sickness I discovered a depth to my being that I did not realise existed. During those years as a social worker and in sickness that was the beginning of a new foundation within me, another resource that would teach me to be more responsible as a person when working as a medium. It thought me to set lines and to not allow myself to be taken over or intimidated by the demands made on me by people as a person and as a medium. From that time my resource as a medium and a human being started to work hand in hand and till this day my learning continues. I believe that many good mediums are lost along the way, because they have not learned to cope with the demands and the pressure made upon them by other people’s expectations and needs. That is why I believe that many mediums at early stages burn out, because they cannot set lines with themselves or others and they have not done the necessary work on themselves.
In hindsight I realised that when I made that challenge to spirit to prove their presence to me that was also a test from my spirit guides to see if I would challenge myself and in turn them. I think it was their guidance that took me into the experience of being a social worker. They wanted to see if I had the ability to question myself. It proved to me once and for all that my spirit helpers know what is deficient within me and what I need develop to continue to walk the pathway that they have chosen for me.