I think everybody can look back on their lives when someone has hurt them, disappointed them or done something that they think is unfair. There are many situations where we think we have been badly treated. Yes, there is a myriad of things that any human being can think is unjust. I am the same as everybody else. I could go through a whole list of situations where I have felt badly treated.
Every feeling that carries a sensation of injustice can awaken little demons (i.e. negative feelings) within ourselves, which in turn can lure us into victim mode. Many people who find themselves a victim of bad treatment, consciously or unconsciously can fall into the mindset of seeking revenge, pay that person back. That can be gossiping behind the person’s back, and in so doing wanting to seek allies to further their negative cause. One example is when people try to destroy someone’s reputation or character. The list is endless!
Whenever we have been treated badly, all the negative feelings that start stirring within can take the form of little demons. When we allow them to take control, not only in the way we behave, but also in the way we think, we become as ruthless as the person who offended us.
So, how do we deal with this in a positive manner?
I myself have quite often wanted revenge, but as life went on and I let it be, I realised that when I get locked in paying back the offender, I get stuck in a circle of negativity. That does not serve me or that person. All the time that I am locked in that negativity it is turned into a whirlpool, diminishing my energy physically, mentally and spiritually. If I allow it to continue, I just sink into that whirlpool of negativity and lose touch with myself. When this happens, it affects everybody and everything around you, even your nearest and dearest. This is when the demons take over, the demons that live within the realms of our negativity.
“I can never say that I will reach a plateau where I become the master of my negativity…
You can never go throughout life without conflict. Learning to deal with conflict is a lesson unto itself, whether it be in conflict with yourself or with another person. Every time I find myself in a situation where my own negativity wants to take over and control my reaction, I have a choice to make: Do I set a line and say to that negative feeling “No, you cannot have control!” or do I fall into the abyss of my negativity? Each time I manage to set a line successfully, I meet a very important challenge in my personal development that can only serve to enhance my feeling of wellbeing.
I can never say that I will reach a plateau where I become the master of my negativity, but what I am writing about is a form of spirituality to me. It is not TALKING spirituality, for me it is LIVING it. This is where I bring in the word “compromise”, I have to find a middle ground for myself: “I do not want to give the situation that I find myself in unnecessary energy.” At this point, I give myself the opportunity to step out of the negative game, and that is what I call “game over”. When I do that, I am not consciously or unconsciously sending out negative feelings that will only provoke the other person or party. However, you have to be really strong-willed to set that line and not allow yourself to succumb to these naughty, little demons that live within us – also called negative feelings.
It is easy to write this text, but the real challenge is to LIVE what I write about in everyday life. Some days I manage wonderfully, and other days I do not. Every time I fail, I have to revisit that difficult feeling, until I make friends with it.
One day at a time.