I thought about how I show my friendship to others, and how people show their friendship to me. I also think about my link to Ascala my guide and what kind of friendship he offers me. One could say he inspires me. He never tells me what to do. He is there by my side, without requesting him to do so, when I need support or inspiration. The most beautiful thing about my relationship with Ascala is this: He does not try to take over my life. He is generous with his time and what he gives, but as soon as I ask him too many questions, whereby he is feeling controlled, he takes a step back.
Ascala sends me opportunities, most of which are completely unexpected. In everything he does he encourages and supports me to be who I am. He can be really direct with me when he feels it is necessary, but the most important thing is: He is there for me and I am there for him. I return that friendship and that trust.
That bond between us has grown stronger over the years, because of trust, not because of demands. I try to be the same with my friends, to be there when they really do need me and my support. A real friend does not need to ask you for help, you just sense what they need. Symbolically you can then take that friends hand and say: How can I help you? True friendship based on love means we do not demand from a friend what they should give. Friendship is recognition, to recognise something through feelings and actions.
There is a little boy I met 3,5 years ago. He started to trust me and we got to know one another through quite unusual circumstances. That was a gift of friendship, when he trusted me. Young children feel when something is genuine. Very often as we were walking around the garden it was not me leading, it was him. As he grows up, deep within him he will never forget the bond we have created. He will not think about it consciously, it will just be there.
Even animals show love in a way. All living creatures need a friend, but like with animals you can never change their nature, what they really are. In a friendship with an animal all we can do is give them what they need and let them show their personality. If treated fairly they will always respond. They will come forward in their way and offer comfort during a sad period. In that way they show their friendship. I believe they can sense who is their friend and who is not.
To have a true friend you do not have to live in one another’s pockets. I have friends that I do not see from one year to another, but as soon as we meet again we just recognise the feeling of intimacy in the moment we reconnect.
A very important part of friendship is to make friends with yourself, to understand the things that you must learn you become friends with yourself. To find real friendship you have to be a friend to yourself first, so that the friendship can grow.
As I walk through my life, just by being a friend it gives me so much, without the expectation of there being a return. But very often we demand things of friends that we cannot even give ourselves. It is so easy to take friends for granted and cross a line. Then it could be that the friend must tell the truth about what they feel, which can lead to a broken friendship that perhaps will be irreparable.
What is friendship to you?