No human being can go through life without having to learn to deal with conflict, conflict born through unresolved issues, not being able to admit when you are wrong, the inability to apologize for some misdemeanour and so on. This subject certainly affects all areas of life. For instance when a couple is heading towards a divorce, neither one really wants to accept responsibility for their part in the drama and they project onto one another. When projection takes over it does not leave any room to find a solution.
It is tragic to see when people who loved and cared for one another begin to destroy one another. It only leads to broken lives and broken hearts, anger and bitterness. Why can we not just step back and out of our emotional frenzy and try to find a middle ground to seek a solution, so that the parties involved can move on?
‘Why can we not just sit back and be observers?
The interesting thing about projection and conflict is that we have this tendency to look for allies, people that will support our cause. The competition of positioning begins: “Which is the strongest group?“ Most of the time as people take sides they have absolutely no idea of what is actually going on within the conflict, they just jump on-board because it enables them to become part of a drama, but they have no real understanding of the origins of this conflict. Whether it is about separation or conflict, people will just jump into it without thinking, because very often it fulfils an unresolved need within them.
So why do we do it? Why can we not just sit back and be observers? Yes, it is okay to give a point of view, but when you become part of this positioning and the frenzy that undoubtedly follows, madness takes over and those concerned lose all perspective. The interesting thing is that in these conflicts and situations either side become two things; victim or warrior – or both.
It is amazing to observe as different people take different sides and give their point of view, especially as many of those people do not walk their talk. You can help someone in crises without having to take sides by simply saying: How can I help? And you can offer your support. . In taking sides by saying it is the other sides fault, just adds to the confusion and the pain.
‘Unresolved issues that lead to separation, the breakdown of friendship and love, can have far reaching consequences for all those involved.
We never realise what effect it has on those around us, to have to witness people that once loved and cared for one another be overtaken and controlled by the demon all this negativity generates. Much of the time they are completely unaware of what demon like energy has been created.
This is a subject I have been thinking about for a long time and I just want to share these thoughts with you. Unresolved issues that lead to separation, the breakdown of friendship and love, can have far reaching consequences for all those involved. At the same time I do not think we can move on if we still retain that anger and bitterness within, but I am of the opinion that answers and keys that can resolve crises come with the essence of time.
When I meet a conflict, for me it is not about saying: Well I have been treated very badly. It is much more productive to say: What can I do? What responsibility do I have to free myself from the conflict I find myself in? Generally speaking I believe that we, becoming conscious of ourselves and our part in any given conflict, is the first step to finding a solution so that all concerned can move on