When I developed as a medium, I made sure I found good teachers, because I realised very early on that I could not educate myself. I needed people with experience and expertise that could show me the dangers of opening up too quickly. I needed people that could teach me to protect myself from negative influences that could affect me, whilst I was open. One thing I became aware of many years ago: Developing as a medium should be done very slowly, and one day at a time.
A very important thing I teach my students is to learn how to open up and close down to the spirit world. Before working, I always ask for permission to work as a medium or healer with my spirit team. When permission to work is granted, it is as though the spirit world puts me inside an invisible barrier that no negative energy can penetrate. At the same time, I am given the energy to work, whereby I do not deplete my own energy.
A lot of people who want to develop their medium ability, do it without a teacher. They think they can do everything on their own, and in so doing can become a danger to themselves and others. What they do not realise is that negative energy can attach itself to them and have a negative effect on their well-being, both physically and psychologically.
I often meet people who have allowed themselves to be used by others. I call it the “rescue-syndrome”. Those “others” have problems in their life, but they are not ready to take responsibility for the situation they find themselves in. After spending hours on the telephone or in conversation, receiving advice on how they can change their lives, the recipient of the advice rarely listens. Instead, a lot of negative energy is projected onto the person who is attempting to rescue them. This results in the rescuers own energy becoming depleted, both physically and emotionally. People, who are trying to be everything to everyone, without setting lines and learning to say no, find themselves repeatedly falling into the same black hole.
“If you are going to help others, know what you CAN do and what you CANNOT do.
In my own work as a medium, I have people calling me every day, asking me for help. I too have been a rescuer in the past. Without being aware of it, I learnt that pattern already as a child. When I went into rescue mode for people that did not want to help themselves, I thought I was being a good person. Slowly but surely, I started to realise, that in trying to rescue others, I was trying to make myself feel good. Such behaviour is another way in which you can open yourself up and become a dumping ground to other people’s unresolved issues. This also awakens the rescuer’s own unresolved issues.
In the work I do not have the skill, ability or knowledge to help everybody. So, I focus on what I CAN do, as a medium and as a person. I will never give advice that I do not act upon. When we do that, the advice we offer is without power or meaning. If you are going to help others, know what you CAN do and what you CANNOT do. Whether you are a medium, teacher, therapist, partner or parent: The point I am making here is not to allow yourself become bigger than you are!
Very often I have to say: “I do not know, I do not have an answer to your problem, I do not have the expertise.” What keeps me in balance is to allow myself to ask someone that actually does know and has the answer. It is important for me to set lines and work from my ability and experience. Of course, if a friend or family member needs genuine help, because of something completely unexpected happening in their life, I will be there for them with love and support, and a listening ear. That is something that I CAN offer.