Many years ago, when I first started working with mediumship, and realised that I could connect with the spirit world and be used as a channel for giving messages, I did not know much about the higher intelligence I worked for. At the age of 22 I really did not have any idea what personal development was. In fact, I did not really understand that personal development was connected with the psychology of the mind. Step by step I started to realise that personal development alongside mediumship is very important.
I can remember one point at the age of 22, I developed quite quickly as a medium, but suddenly I realised what a huge responsibility my work carried. It was not just about how you opened up as a medium, but how you delivered it and the focus it required. There was something missing. I did not fully understand what the word responsibility entailed, I just felt it and thought – am I emotionally equipped to do this?
One day I said to Ascala:
– You have to give me more proof that what I am doing is what I am meant to do.
In some respects, I was not sure if my emotions could handle it, or the expectations people put on me when they came to see me. I said to him:
– I want to learn new things, as well as you proving to me that I am meant to be a medium. I will not work with mediumship until you give me proof that this is what I should devote my life to.
So, Ascala set to work, and he is very clever at making me think it is my own idea.
“I was soon to come face to face with my own inadequacies.
At this time in life I had become very interested in psychology and I was offered a job working with young people that had been in trouble with law. I started working in a hostel, where young people were sent for a year of rehabilitation, to help them become more active in society. It was fascinating, as I started working with these people, I also started discovering my own shortcomings and that there was another aspect of my mind that I needed to work with. Even though I did not have anything to do with mediumship there was paranormal activity around me almost every day, things moving, running water on full blast in the middle of the night etcetera.
This proved to be a real mind opener for me, being involved with people like this. I was soon to come face to face with my own inadequacies. That was the beginning of my journey regarding personal development. Interestingly enough, the more I got into my job, the more I began to have an idea of who I really was and how people around me reacted to me. I always had a sneaky feeling Ascala was around influencing things to my advantage. After a while I got a feeling to start visiting clairvoyant demonstrations being held by other mediums, almost every time the medium would turn to me and encourage me to start working for spirit, but I really needed an indication that it was right so that I would not be governed by my ego and be taking in wrong direction in my life.
Due to illness I left my job working as social carer for the probation service. I had to move back to London where I could receive the medical treatment I needed. During this time continued visiting demonstrations and the same thing kept on happening. The medium would turn to me and ask when I was going to start working for spirit again, but I still felt I needed more proof.
Then, one day, my partner said:
– I want you to follow me for a shopping trip.
So, off we went and after many hours of shopping I found myself yet in another shop, hoping it would all soon be over. Low and behold, suddenly the door to the shop opened and in walked this lady, I recognised her as the president of a spiritual society. And she said:
– Where have you been all these years!? You are the answer to my prayer!
– What do you mean?
– The medium that was supposed to be working tomorrow have cancelled, can you step in?
I found myself faintly answering:
– Yes, I can come.
I do not know if that was a reply based on the relief I felt as she walked in to the shop.
The Ascala intelligence knew where to find me. From that day I really started to commit myself to the work as a medium, with the hope of progressing to become an even better medium. In those days I did not receive payment, I just did it for the pure joy of learning. Focus was not on money but on learning and understanding.
“I wish I had listened to them, because it took me far longer recovering from the trauma without therapy.
Regarding my personal development, when the sickness came to its end, I had to see a medical board, and they said:
– We think you need some kind of therapy.
I was chocked:
– There Is nothing wrong with me!
That was just my fear speaking. I wish I had listened to them, because it took me far longer recovering from the trauma without therapy. If I had taken heed, it could have been much quicker.
Starting with therapy later on I begun recognising myself even more, and with each step my mind began to clear and I opened up even more, but I did not know to what. That realisation came with time. As I begun to understand myself even more, it was both frightening and a relief. My mediumship improved and the manner in which I communicated developed. With each mind opener it took me further and further into the spirit world, and the more my mind opened up, the more I could understand what spirit was talking about and the less my own mind came into the messages from spirit. It certainly was liberating and much easier to work when I did not try to live up to the recipient’s expectations. The more neutral I was I could I deliver it in a more neutral way and not disturb the contents of the message.
This journey with my personal development is a commitment I must be aware of for the rest of my days, but it is not a burden, it is such an adventure! This is my experience of the importance of connecting personal development with mediumship. How can you help others, when you have not helped yourself and when you are still driven by old patterns created by life’s conditioning?