I remember in the early days when I would talk to spirit or offer a prayer. I would give this higher intelligence a long list of requirements on how I would like things to be and how they had to be changed to suite me and my need for control. For me that was being a controller: I want to have things my way. That is something that I had to work on for some time.

I have a certain need for control, but would I call myself a control-freak? For myself, I do not like chaos. In my home environment I like order. I do not like untidiness; things must be in the right place. I like things to be clean and fairly hygienic. For example, it would be very difficult for me to go to bed without washing the dishes. I also have my daily routines that I like to follow, when I wake up I take a cup of tea, as I sit down I feel my feelings and then meditate. I am also the same with our garden; I like it to be in order. I hate to see piles everywhere, whether it is at home or in the garden, so if structure is a form of control, in that area I am a bit of a controller.

‘Since I met my wife, Astrid, I have realised how I have controlled certain things in my life that I have been blind to.

I very rarely change positioning of things and furniture. I certainly am a creature of routine in daily life, but having said that, when I am working as a medium on a course or a clairvoyant demonstration I never know what is going to happen, that I have no control over. It all depends on the spirit contact or the clients. In my company of course I like order, but I do not believe that I control the people that work for me. They have their area of responsibility and I encourage them to use their own creativity within the framework of the company.

Since I met my wife, Astrid, I have realised how I have controlled certain things in my life that I have been blind to. It has been a very interesting time and for me there have been quite a few realisations about aspects I have had to modify. I would not dare say the same about her, because that would be me controlling and making assumptions, but her insights have offered me a lot.

However, it is sad when the need for control is so extreme that it has a negative effect on those around us, family, colleagues and friends, to the point where their feelings and opinions have no place.

To be on the receiving end of a control freak trying to govern or influence your life can prove to be a traumatic experience. It can be very destructive. For me someone needing to control in the extreme is a form of sickness. The words control freak they scare me. Having been a control freak in my early days I know their need for control can never be quenched.

I would like to hear your comments on this.

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Terry Evans interest in parapsychology and mediumship began at an early age. His first encounter with an actual spiritualist medium came at the age of 22, when he was given his first private consultation by a medium. The effects of that experience were to prove to be a turning point in his life, offering new realisations. These realisations motivated Terry to develop his own inner potential of mediumship and intuition.

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