I remember in the early days when I would talk to spirit or offer a prayer. I would give this higher intelligence a long list of requirements on how I would like things to be and how they had to be changed to suite me and my need for control. For me that was being a controller: I want to have things my way. That is something that I had to work on for some time.
I have a certain need for control, but would I call myself a control-freak? For myself, I do not like chaos. In my home environment I like order. I do not like untidiness; things must be in the right place. I like things to be clean and fairly hygienic. For example, it would be very difficult for me to go to bed without washing the dishes. I also have my daily routines that I like to follow, when I wake up I take a cup of tea, as I sit down I feel my feelings and then meditate. I am also the same with our garden; I like it to be in order. I hate to see piles everywhere, whether it is at home or in the garden, so if structure is a form of control, in that area I am a bit of a controller.
‘Since I met my wife, Astrid, I have realised how I have controlled certain things in my life that I have been blind to.
I very rarely change positioning of things and furniture. I certainly am a creature of routine in daily life, but having said that, when I am working as a medium on a course or a clairvoyant demonstration I never know what is going to happen, that I have no control over. It all depends on the spirit contact or the clients. In my company of course I like order, but I do not believe that I control the people that work for me. They have their area of responsibility and I encourage them to use their own creativity within the framework of the company.
Since I met my wife, Astrid, I have realised how I have controlled certain things in my life that I have been blind to. It has been a very interesting time and for me there have been quite a few realisations about aspects I have had to modify. I would not dare say the same about her, because that would be me controlling and making assumptions, but her insights have offered me a lot.
However, it is sad when the need for control is so extreme that it has a negative effect on those around us, family, colleagues and friends, to the point where their feelings and opinions have no place.
To be on the receiving end of a control freak trying to govern or influence your life can prove to be a traumatic experience. It can be very destructive. For me someone needing to control in the extreme is a form of sickness. The words control freak they scare me. Having been a control freak in my early days I know their need for control can never be quenched.
I would like to hear your comments on this.
