My guide Ascala has taught me that periodically my mind, my values need to be upgraded. The process of development cannot remain static. There is no point to hang on to things, or mindsets and such. As my mind changes and my vision expands, I realise that something has to be put to one side, it must move one to make room for something new. That requires flexibility, that I have the ability to listen to Ascalas advice, and not listen to the voice telling me I do not need to change.
Ascala has been preparing me for the recent decision I made and the move ahead. Now that we are putting the house and the school up for sale, we have been doing a lot of work clearing out things that we no longer need. It is amazing discovering things that you have hung on to and forgotten about. I do have a tendency of being something of a collector. Leaving behind things that I have a connection to or a happy memory is hard, but as I think about it, give it a second and a third look, I might realise “No, this thing is done with me”
If anyone had said to me two years ago that I would be selling Gamla Byskolan and leave it behind, I would not have believed them, but now I feel, without any doubt, that it is the right decision. I am making room in my mind to see things in a different way. Once I made that decision and started clearing out, it turned into an exciting thing and my energy returned. It gave me feelings of excitement and anticipation.
Having the school has been a huge responsibility and commitment. I have enjoyed it immensely, but now that all the improvements of the buildings are done, I can see someone else coming in taking it over. Some people have said: It will not be the same do a course anywhere else, but that is the thing with change, it cannot be the same again. A man I know left the company he worked for and changed to a similar company that he used to work for before; within days he realised that he had gone back into something that he really did not want. When you go back to something old, it never has the same magic as it had in the beginning.
Change is actually personal development. We want change, but we do not want to let go of anything. To find your truth you have to meet your feelings, it is important to let go of things you no longer feel serve your life’s purpose.
My work will perhaps not be the same as it was in Fanthyttan, but who knows as I break my mindset and make this move, perhaps I will be able to offer much more. If I did not make this decision, I would not be able to move on and go into another phase, another part of my destiny. It is like being in a relationship, it has its time and then perhaps you separate. You yearn for that person to come back, but invariably if that were to happen, one realises that the spirit of the feeling is not there any longer.
Should I offer my educations on a different location in the future I am hoping that it will be in a really nice place that will offer something new that Fanthyttan cannot offer. However, I cannot make any promises to anyone, time will tell what it will be.
I am looking forward to things, I do not know how it will be, but I do hope it will offer new experiences, realisations, fun and laughter. My soul needs nourishment that only change can bring. As a therapist said to me many years ago: “When you begin to feel as if something is becoming an institution for you and your creativity then you need to move on to the next phase.” As I move on and go into the unknown, I am alive, it does not have to be something big, just something new that will take me to my destiny.
So, we shall see what happens! I will keep you updated. Now I just hear Ascala laughing and I see his smiling face, what is he up to now? He loves to tease me, because he knows how curious I am.