Letting go of the past by moving on sounds like a very easy thing to do, but of course it is not. As you all know I am going through a transition at the moment. I am having to let go of the past, something that I have created and built with love. I had a realisation just before Christmas: There is something missing from my life. I was time to move on. That was a real struggle, but my wife and I made the decision that it was time to take the next step in our lives. But the onset of the Covid19 stopped me dead in my tracks, like with many people. This gave me time to think. I try to be a responsible teacher and person. People have accused me of being too loyal, what does that mean?
We started a process where we were working towards the closure of the school. For a couple of weeks, I felt a kind of lethargy: What should I do? I had no energy at all. This period was very important, because one day this feeling just said farewell to me and my energy and vision came back to me. Then I thought: Now I am going to take action; it is really time to clear out things; all these things we do not need any longer. What should we do with them? Let’s start a flea market! What we no longer need might be used by other people who will appreciate them. It is so interesting when people come here to look at the things. Some of them are so happy: “I have been looking for something like this for a long time and here it is!” So, the old things that I thought was no longer necessary had use for other people and that made me happy. I wish we could do this more often, think twice before we throw things away.
In clearing out, I am slowly letting things go, manifesting the decision and that is what is necessary. Letting go of things, the old, even though you do not think you can do without it. You make room for the new.
In the last few days when spring has finally arrived. Sitting in the garden of Gamla Byskolan I have asked myself: Do I really want to leave this place? But in the heart of hearts I feel I am being called to move on. Whatever we have strived for and done here has created a beautiful place; both with the garden and what has been done on the inside. The memories of this place will follow me throughout my life, just as it will for many of our students and other visitors. And these memories will always be a friend. The day we actually leave I am sure I will have a tear rolling down my cheek, as I say good bye to an old friend. I have loved the years here in Fanthyttan, it has been an adventure. The experience of this adventure has taught me so much.
It is a bit like having arrived at another train station where a new train awaits to take me to another destination, and upon arrival there will be people there to greet me and welcome me. I do not know what will happen, I might have my thoughts and ideas, but life is an adventure and we never know what it is going to be.
Whenever I miss Fanthyttan I will just reconnect with the memory and it will be a second away, in the archives of my memory that I can visit whenever I want.