How often in life have you been asked to do something, that you do not wish to do? You would really like to say no, but still you are tempted to say yes, just to avoid conflict. There have been many times in life where I have wanted to say no, but instead I have allowed myself to be manipulated and I have said: Yes, okay, I will help you. But later on, it would prove to have a negative impact on me.

So, there have been times where I should have said no and sorry, I cannot do that, because there deep down I understood there was something that they had to realise about themselves.

I realised it was my right to say no, and that also meant I had to confront my own feelings and meet the conflict instead of dodging it. As I started to say no, I was met by surprise, some people could not understand why. When I said no, it was a relief: Yes, I have done it, I have actually said no! I realised that it was a very important part of my journey.

If we allow ourselves to be emotionally manipulated, we lose ourselves. Every time we want to say no, but say yes, we are giving away lot of our energy, which will just lead us back into old situations. But, of course, if someone needs genuine help, I will help them – because I want to. I do not do it because I think I am obliged to.

When we allow ourselves to be manipulated, we are not really helping anyone. The hardest thing for any human being is to tell themselves the truth about themselves. The only way we can encounter self-awareness is to be honest, but it is not always an easy job to walk that road.

This attitude of mine, where I feel I need to help everybody, comes from my childhood. I thought it was my job to fix other people’s situations.

The more I experience self-awareness it is as if I am beginning to untangle myself. My inner voice is given more room and I give it freedom to work inside of me. That really opens up a lot within me, so now I do not feel obligated, because I think I must. I will offer help from my soul if I feel I genuinely can help. If I practise this it gives my life much more creative freedom.

I do not believe I am a selfish person. I will always be there for a friend that needs a to hold my hand. The love that will come through me is far more help than if I fall into the rot of just saying yes.

As I look down through my life, I can see it took me a long time to realise my part in this game. Now I hope I am much more aware. Learning to make decisions and saying no originates from our ability to tell the truth about ourselves. This honesty has given me a sense of freedom; it is almost as if a burden has been lifted from me, bit by bit.

Answers only come when we allow our soul to take action and listen to it speaking to us.

/Terry Evans

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